and that's the way the cookie crumbles...

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:1-4 ESV)

Do you ever get frustrated because you feel like God doesn't answer your prayers? I know I do!

Have you ever watched the movie, Bruce Almighty? Bruce takes over as God for a few days and he can do miracles and answer prayers. Bruce opens up the Yahweh prayer mail and reads a few prayers and it seems like the people are asking for good things, so he says "yes" to them. In one of deleted scenes, God shows Bruce what His plan was and how that is now altered. For example, chubby Philbert is getting picked on in gym, and prays, “Oh, God, please help me.” Bruce replies, “Don’t worry Philbert. Help is on the way,” then gives him supernatural power to climb the gym rope faster than anyone. Next, we see a lady named Esther about to go bankrupt. Bruce causes her to slip on milk in the grocery store and a lawyer happens to be right there to assist her. These certainly seem like the answers they wanted.

However, God shows Bruce what his plan would have been for them if the answers had been "no."

Bruce: There were so many…I just gave them all what they wanted.

God: Yeah. Since when does anyone have a clue about what they want. Remember Philbert?

(Scene cuts to Philbert beating another kid up on the playground.)

Bruce: Yeah, Philbert…what’s gotten into him?

God: Brilliant young man. He was gonna be a great poet. The soul of his work would’ve been built around his childhood pain. Now he’s headed for a career as a professional wrestler. He will eventually test positive for steroids and end up managing a muffin shop.

Bruce: Wow, that’s a disappointment.

God: He got what he prayed for. Esther Maha…(scene cuts to Esther’s living room). I love Esther. Esther was bankrupt. She was gonna have to eat her pride and call her sister. That would’ve gotten the two of them together again. Instead she bought a condo in South Florida.

James talks about how we don't ask so we don't receive, and when we do ask, we ask with wrong motives, so we still don't receive. God won't give us the things we seek for selfish or worldly reasons.

So when you don't study and then pray for God to help you pass a test... or when you speed and pray you don't get a ticket... or for the calories in this cupcake not to go to your hips… these prayers are most likely going to be answered with a "no" because your sin earned you some bad consequences.

However, when we pray for God to help us be more kind, patient, loving or godly, those are prayers He'll answer with a yes. When we pray with honorable, godly intentions, we will receive it.

Answer This:

1) Do you ever feel like God doesn't answer your prayers? Is there something you've prayed for something for a long time and God hasn't done it?

2) You do not have, because you do not _______________. You ask and do not receive, because you ask _______________, to spend it on your passions.

3) Give an example of a time you prayed for something and in hindsight you are glad God said no.

4) Spend time praying and ask God to reveal to you any selfish desires or passions you may have. Ask Him to help you seek after Him and not after friendship with the world.

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Written by Amber

PS. The first person to read this and send me a text saying so will get a prize.

i almost do.

James 1:5- 8

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways..

I really believe that 99% of the world are in a situation where they are interested in someone romantically….  ok, well over a certain age - I’d like to say that age is like 12 or something but my 6 year old has had a crush on Johnny Kettelle for years. So, it is my hypothesis that most of us have a crush on someone (if you're married make sure that person you have a crush on is your spouse and things will go well for you). So, we all argue and say we don’t have a crush on someone…  but c’mon, just be honest.  

So think about that person you have the crush on… fast forward and all the sudden you find yourself at the alter with that awesome person… they are dazzling! A radiant bride in the perfect dress she took forever to pick out, or a flawless groom that even clipped his fingernails for this occasion! They look deep into your eyes and say this:

 I ___(insert crush here)____ , promise you that I will love you forever, I will always be faithful and true, in any sickness that is not contagious, life threatening, causing you to gain weight or have diarrhea, or anything that lands you in the hospital for more then 4 days, I promise that I will provide for you as long as we have a solid income coming in, and you don’t waste my money, and our investments keep gaining, and our house is worth more money then we owe on it….   I will only have eyes for you as long as your measurements don't change by more then 2 inches in any direction, and as long as there is not someone in a bikini in front of me, I mean - it’s a bikini, you can’t blame me for that. I promise to forgive anything you do that does not fall into the categories of lying, gossiping, and cheating on me- those things annoy me…  I will help you raise our children from 8:00am - 11:00pm, I will do up to and including 10 diapers a week and I will take 2 night shifts per month to watch kids. If one gets sick I will drive them to the doctor no more then 1 time per 6 weeks. I will listen to you as long as I am interested in what you are saying and I will remain faithful to you as long as we have sex 4 times a week and I don't get any better offers. But taking all of that into consideration - I am yours forever…   or as long as this is still working out for us.

Not very romantic huh? With divorce rates over 50% a large amount of people are choosing to sign “prenuptial agreements” before marriage since they assume this marriage won’t last forever.

I have been happily married for 8 years, 11 months and 18 days. My wife has been happily married for about 8 years, 4 months and a few days…  (ok, I didn’t ask her for a number - I was scared she might actually give me one)…  but being married to me can’t be easy - I know that. Still she chooses to stay.. because every day is perfect? No. Because she knows I am the best guy out there and the best offer she could get? No Way! It is because we made a commitment to each other (and God) and we decided that failure was not an option. If we had left room for failure to be an option - she may have taken that option by now, and if I haven't done anything yet to tempt her I am sure I will do something dumb in the future. The reason I know we will be together till the end - we don’t have a backup plan, we wont let failure be an option.

How many times do we “Pre-Nup” God? Like “Hey God, I trust you, but just in case I’m gonna ….” ; “God, I know this request is really huge and I don’t expect you to be able to do it, but …” We do that to God all the time. We ask him “in faith” but really we are doubting all the way. Who wants a relationship like that that is built with doubt as an option? God sure doesn’t want that. He wants you to believe in Faith, no doubts, just Faith.

Answer This:

1.  What are you praying about that you just believe is still too big for God?

2.  Who treated you like that, saying they believe in you but keeping a backup plan just in case?

3.  But let him ask in ________, with no doubting, for the one who _______ is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

4. Take a minute and journal about what you read.

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Written by Jeff Harkins